Last class of in-sessional language support

It has been long time since the last update of my blog here. There is still nothing new recently but the last class with Julian, our in-sessional language support tutor. We had a very wonderful buffet today, each dish was hand-made by ourselves (well, not "everyone" but those who are really good on cooking....not including me of course ^^").

Error Analysis - Academic Writing

Identify and correct the errors below. They could relate to grammar, vocabulary or style.

01. It is important that organisation need to emphasise on secvice quality.
02. Even if customers are satisfied with comapnies, they may still switch the different companies which they like.
03. The company manager need to understand the relationship ...
04. There are several models of service quality, one of the noticeable model is ...
05. Although implement might be possible ...
06. To understand the development of TQM theory can be helpful for both ...
07. Although Deming proposed ..., these perhaps best interpreted as a series of statements ...
08. In the increasingly competitive market, customers have an increasingly number of choices ...
09. Therefore, it is essential for sellers to analysing and evaluating the customer's needs and wants ...
10. Before discussing ... two issues necessary to be firstly clarified.
11. ... providing satisfied services or products ...
12. Secondly, it is needed to comprehend that what the quality is ...
13. ... because of lots of organisations have created a reputation ...
14. A company strive for success, therefore, facing a huge evolution ...
15. This essay will first critical review ...
16. In fact, there were many scholars defined the supply chain management differently ...
17. In addition, X et al define that ...
18. It is suggested that SCM should incorporate with marketing objectives ...

Error Analysis - Academic Writing

Identify and correct the errors below. They could relate to grammar, vocabulary or style

01. Majority of ...
02. ... in recent, Indian government opened its watch market ...
03. ... in India market.
04. Titan marketing activities both in domestic and global market.
05. ... and so on.
06. In 2003 Titan report, it showed that ...
07. ... are on increasing.
08. ... by using following models, they are ...
09. ... according to X stated that ...
10. ... to look into ...
11. ... according to X, he indicated that ...
12. Following areas will be discussed ...
13. According to that case study, it is shown that Titan ...
14. ... in world watch market.
15. ... could be analysed as followed ...
16. ... can be analysed by ... as the figure shown below ...
17. There is another research scholar, X ... wrote in ...
18. ... strategy is growing important to lead success to an organisation.
19. From a number of survey results, it showed that ...
20. It may questioned the slimmest watch ...
21. ... Titan should able to ...
22. In analysis this model, we could identify several weakness in ...
23. In all above analysis ...
24. ... all strategic choices are very critical to ...
25. ... is another big challenge ...

















01. The Majority of ...

02. ... in recent years, the Indian government has opened its watch market ...
OR "Recently, the Indian government ..."

03. ... in the Indian market.

04. Titan marketing activities are in both the both in domestic and the global market.

05. ... and so on.
Not academic writing.

06. In the 2003 Titan report, it can be seen showed that ...
OR "According to the Titan report in 2003 ..."
OR "In 2003 Titan reported that ..."
OR "In 2003 Titan report showed ..."
OR "The 2003 Titan report showed/shows"

07. ... are on increasing.
OR "... are on the increase"

08. ... by using the following models, which are ___, ___ and ___. they are ...
OR "... by using the following models, namely ___, ___, and ___."

09. ... according to X stated that ...
don't use verb. after "according to"

10. ... to look into ...
Not academic writing.
Use "analyse" "evaluate" "examine" "investigate"

11. ... according to X, he indicated that ...
same as 09.

12. The Following areas will be discussed ...

13. According to that case study, it can be seen is shown that Titan ...
OR "The case study shows that Titan ..."

14. ... in the world watch market.

15. ... could be analysed as follows followed ...

16. ... can be analysed by ... as the figure shows shown below ...

17. There is another research scholar, X ... wrote in ...
scholar is a person, so we can't use "there is" here.

18. ... strategy is increasingly growing important to bring lead success to an organisation.
OR "... strategy is of growing importance to ..."

19. From a number of survey results, it can be seen showed that ...

20. It may be questioned whether the slimmest watch ...
question + whether

21. ... Titan should be able to ...

22. In the analysis of this model, several weakness could be identified we could identify several weakness in ...
OR "In analysing this model, ..."

23. In all above analysis ...

24. ... all the strategic choices are very critical to ...
"critical" is for extreme condition already, don't need to use "very".

25. ... is another big challenge ...
Not academic writing.
Use "major" "significant"

Error Analysis - Academic Writing

Identify and correct the errors below.

01. The car industry has been boomed for decades.
02. ... not only because the lower price ...
03. ... in the recently years.
04. ... is not health for babies.
05. This market is very attractively.
06. ... most of buyers ...
07. Many companies use this as a strategic to expand their business.
08. ... for example hot food or a toothbrush, paying your bills and collecting the book you ordered online.
09. ... marketing strategies was based on ...
10. ... the main product in beverage industry.
11. The idea of eat well ...
12. ... for it's marketing strategy.
13. ... recommend it strongly to potential students, it is a clever and effective strategy.
14. ... won't feel like they only get to know ...
15. ... balanced stage of even producting and consuming.
16. ... searching information ....
17. Every passenger is given a free porter right from his car ...
18. Therefore, online shopping is became ...
19. ... the number of food chain stores has grown significantly. It always attract ...
20. Firstly, it is to contact with customers directly ...
21. ... how effective the marketing strategy is of convenience stores.
22. ... all the young people receiving ...
23. The car industries become more and more competitive ...
24. Marketing become more important ...














01. The car industry has been boomed for decades.
Either "has boomed" or "has been booming" is correct.

02. ... not only because of the lower price ...
because of + noun., because + verb.

03. ... in the recently years.
OR "Recently" instead of the whole sentence.

04. ... is not healthy for babies.

05. This market is very attractively.

06. ... most of buyers ...

07. Many companies use this as a strategic strategy to expand their business.

08. ... for example, hot food or a toothbrush, paying and you can pay your bills and collecting the book you ordered online.

09. ... marketing strategies strategy was based on ...

10. ... the main product in the beverage industry.

11. The idea of eat eating well ...
OR "to eat well"

12. ... for it's its marketing strategy.
it's means "it is"

13. ... recommend it strongly to potential students, as it is a clever and effective strategy.
OR "... students. It is ..."
OR "... students; it is ..."
OR "... students, which is ..."

14. ... won't will not feel like as if they only get to know ...
no abbreviation in academic writing. use the whole word.

15. ... balanced stage of even producting production and consuming consumption.

16. ... searching for information ....

17. Every passenger is given a free porter right from his that car ...
use "they", "their" instead of "he/she", "his/her" in academic writing

18. Therefore, online shopping is has became ...

19. ... the number of food chain stores has grown significantly. It They always attract ...
as 17.

20. Firstly, it is to contact with customers directly ...
Either "have/make/establish contact with people" or "contact people"

21. ... how effective the marketing strategy is of convenience stores.

22. ... all the young people receiving receive ...
OR "are receiving"

23. The car industries has became more and more competitive ...

24. Marketing has became more important ...